What Are You Taking Into 2012

At the end of every year, I make a concerted effort to tidy up my living space so that I go into the new year with a clean home. I don't know if it's a tradition of mine or a superstition. But I do know, that at the end of this year's clean sweep, I have an abundance of hair and beauty products -- GO FIGURE! I may have a problem. I may need some help. But I don't need another product at anytime in 2012. I am taking these products into 2012, but I am also taking a few new habits along for the journey.

What are you taking into the new year? Whatever you decide, please have a safe and happy one!

Cheers!

Finding Hosiery to 'Control-Top' the Dollar

If  you have read my personal blog, you may have come across the post about my quest to find high-quality and fashionable pantyhose (for women of color - namely me) that didn't break the bank, Hanes Solutions - Transparent Sheer. I have been comparing every other brand since finding this brand, and have yet to find one that can top both it's cost and quality. I have only been able to find it in Target stores, who may be an exclusive retailer of the brand. When initially finding Transparent Sheer last year, I enjoyed paying a little over $5 per pair. However, while shopping for more this weekend, I noticed that the price has gone up...WAY up; now ranging $7 - $8! I'm sure this is due to the sales success of  a higher-end brand with a cuter name. Unfortunately, For 'whatever reason' I am not able to easily find them online (side eye), as I am with other Hanes hosiery (except through ebay) - double side eye. So, my search to find reasonably-priced, quality hosiery for women of color continues...stay tuned.

The back-story: An excerpt from Considering All Things:

It's ALL GOOD - I Couldn't Agree More!

Just sharing a web video of one gentleman's take on "Good Hair." By now, most of us have heard the term - widely used in the African American community - to differentiate hair types. The problem with the term is that it suggests that there is something inherently "wrong" with hair types that don't fall into the "Good Hair" category. In case you don't already know, or are still breaking the mind-set: the BEST hair is the healthy kind that grows out of your scalp, sheds naturally and regrows. No matter how you accessorize or treat your hair, make sure it's always protected and restored to the healthiest state possible (nothing against my natural hair journeyers). He puts it best in the last few seconds of the video, by encouraging us all to take care of our GOOD HAIR - it's ALL GOOD and I couldn't agree more!

Take a look:

 

The Eyes Have It: Bow the Brow

This installment features a subtle, but ever-so-important facial feature: the EYEBROWS. Eyebrows shape our faces and (I know we've read this in other posts) can make or break your look. Can you imagine-facial hair that accessorizes the overall look for men and women. Really, we don't need to discuss makeup too much regarding eyebrows. We should however focus on the shape and grooming of the eyebrow.

The Eyes Have It: Don't Be Out of Line!

Some may not think so, but eyeliner is just as necessary as eye shadow in completing a full face of makeup and can even be worn without shadow. Eyeliner frames the eyes and is one of the few finishing touches in makeup.  It can make or break a look you want to achieve (e.g. bright eyes), or mood you want to convey (e.g. youthful, bright, vixen, etc.) - the key is precision. Well, precision and knowing what looks are most appropriate at any given time. Let's take an informed and strategic look at eyeliner application, considering desired outcomes, colors, liner types and application techniques. First, we'll review application based on eye shape and the goal of your look. Then, we'll cover the different types of liners and application techniques.

You Know You're at Work, Right?

I've been trying to figure out a more creative way to communicate to one of my professional colleagues (in a multi-contractor environment) that it's in appropriate to do any of the following:

Curse loudly in the office - especially while giving a presentation.
Use your speaker phone at the loudest volume possible, and with the office door wide open.
Watch streaming video on your computer - with speakers connected and blasted.
Talk about your spouse and how "unsatisfied" you are.
Conduct a JR staff member's performance review -- LOUDLY with the office door wide open!
Prank-phone call other co-workers on the speaker phone...

Who does that?!

I know, you can't believe it. It's actually gotten comical. The rest of us can't believe it. I'll think of something...I'll be real creative too.

Hair Confessions...

So, if you've been following this blog for any period of time, you have likely noticed that I no longer have the 'Hair Progress' page available for viewing. I took it down because there have been some changes to my regimen - again. My quest for growing out my hair is still going strong. I have continued to focus on growing my hair through protective styling [and low-manipulation]. Even though my regimen has not been as stable as I would have liked, I have experienced tremendous hair growth. But I must confess, there is a new ingredient I've added...Miconazole Nitrate (MN). Normally, I would be looking down right now; but the fact of the matter is my hair is growing at a rate I have never experienced.

Now, before I tell anyone to give this a try, let me just share some of what I've been reading about the use of this on one's scalp.

Recent Favorite Finds!

I've been on hiatus - well, kinda. I had the pleasure of hosting my nieces and nephew this summer, enjoying a new hybrid automobile and nurturing my relationships. It was a good summer! Now that it's my FAVORITE season (Autumn), I am feeling the "back to school" shopping spirit and thought I'd send my readers to some of my recent favorite finds.


3. Ouidad Comb


The Ouidad double tooth detangling comb! As some of you may have read, I am stretching my relaxers to every 90 days...well, I'm trying to (90 86 days were rough)! A tool like this is so very necessary, even for those of us who are not necessarily transitioning. It can be found at any Sephora retailer or via online purchase through Amazon.

Can't Keep This to Myself!!

I am not new to faith. I have seen and experienced miracles. I know and appreciate the goodness of God; and I still doubt God. I'm not proud of it, but I'm human. I contemplated the idea of not giving this past week after updating my budget. My conscious/the VOICE of God/the Holy Spirit wouldn't allow it without an honorable fight -- or reminding me of a few things...

It went a little something like this:


Me: Man, If I could just hold on to this money, I will have enough to do...
The VOICE: Remember the time...
Me: Oh yeah...but I won't be able to do what I planned if I give it all now. Maybe I can give half now, and work to make the rest to give next week.
The VOICE: You don't even know if you'll be here next week.
Me: yeah...I have made it on less that $24 in two weeks before...
The VOICE: Right, like the time when...
Me: Yep.

In reality, it went a little longer that that.

I started to remember all of the times I didn't have...all of the times I was awarded something in my lack - all of the times I was randomly given something or shown kindness to by strangers. After thinking of all the times I've seen or witnessed the reaping and sowing process (or law of giving in action), I did it.

I just let go and did it. I gave.

Yesterday (a few days later after I had forgotten about the self-imposed tug of war - with what I was given), I had money shoved into my purse. I didn't ask for it. I almost rejected it. It was just let go of and given to me. I immediately gave this testimony (to the person who forced funds in my handbag) and told myself I would blog about it. That's what I was told to do. I can't keep this to myself! I must let-it-go!

To give background, I am a Christian who has grown up in the Baptist church. I left for a while (during college) to learn more about religion and my spirituality; joined a nondenominational church after graduating; learned A LOT more, and joined a different church ten or so years later. I think I have a good [or better] understanding of my faith and spirituality...now anyway. Like all things and in all things, I must keep growing.

No matter what your religion is, the law of giving is universal and applies to us all (there are a few other universal laws/principles). And I love to experience and see it for myself.  I was reluctant to let go of something - in this case money. I let go of it, understanding why I needed to. [Let's be real: I was testing the principle of giving - I'm allowed to.]

Someone else was obedient to the same law and let go for me.

I hope this strengthens someone's faith out there. It's ok to let it go. What is yours will be for you. LET GO! Not because you will be rewarded, but because it's not that deep to keep and you will be taken care of. We have everything we need. There are others in GROSS need, whom could use us LETTING GO...

love.

What EVERY Creative Person Must be Reminded Of...

I was in a Twitter-surfing mood the other day and came across one of my favorite photographers (Jasmine Star's) twitter page. I was introduced to her work by my photographer (Tosha Francis). Side note: there's more favor shown when you appreciate the work of others who love your craft - I've definitely observed that. Anyway, Jasmine's timeline is usually entertaining, and she occasionally posts a tweet that pauses my thinking. The reason why this particular tweet resonated with me is because of what I've been experiencing doing hair and makeup lately. I am not downing my work, but - like most artists - when I review the finished product I want to either do it again or "touch something up." To my chagrin, my client either loves what has been created for him/her, or does not have time for [seemingly] minor modifications. However, it frustrates me... I thought I was alone; that I was going through a rough patch in what I love to do. Well, I may be wrong.

Thanks Jasmine for putting this out there.

Protective Maintenance

It's a tough job, but someone has got to do it...my previous blog (entered nearly a month ago) declared the stance I was taking against what I had been advised by some - NOT to braid my hair. Though all the reasons varied, they were thoroughly considered. As some of you may have guessed, I went ahead and braided my hair. With temperature indexes reaching +120 degrees here in DC, I was especially thankful for my braided hair. The DC humidity would have shrunken the "S-T-R-E-T-C-H" I touted earlier (that would not have been pretty). I've also been very busy (on the makeup front) working weddings and other special events, so it's been a help not to have to worry too much about my hair. I have been worrying about the hair of my clients --I have been spreading the protective love. Yep! Weaves and braids. When styling hair, I like to share some of my regimen (for protective maintenance) with clients. So, it's only fair that I share the same information with my readers...

Wouldn't THAT be Exciting?!

It SO would!

If anyone has been watching the news, they have probably seen coverage of the First Lady, Michelle Obama, enjoying some good eats lately. We know that the President enjoys an occasional burger. I guess these Presidential love birds definitely flock together...so cute.

Or could it be...

Could the First Lady be feeding a craving? Could there be a bun in the oven of the First Womb?! I currently  have a few pregnant friends, and when they crave something - we all better MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! Has the First Lady deserted her organic garden for some dessert at Eatonville (I LOVE that place Mrs. Obama), or was it the mac and cheese (the best in DC, if you ask me)?! This is totally a fleeting thought that crossed my mind, but it got me excited, so I re-invited the thought just to ponder a bit. Yes, it would be very exciting if the Obamas were adding another member (of the human persuasion) to the family! Perhaps it's [as the song says] a dream, a simple fantasy that I wish was reality.



Perhaps, but the idea still excited me! lol

Duke Diesel

I met a puppy and fell in love. I knew he would bring happiness to me and most of my family members. Amongst his litter-mates, he was calm but playful - just the temperament I desired. His mother's breed is Pit Bull and her stud (the pup's father) a Douge de Bordeaux/French Mastiff. For me, he was the perfect mix. I called my brother in GA to see what he thought. He and I had been talking about him getting a dog. I knew it would be a good idea for him, being that he was going through a tough time. So we (my brother and I) decided that I would get the dog and let him stay with me for a few weeks for two reasons: 1) to see if I could be a dog-owner (for real this time); and 2) to house-break and train the dog so that my brother wouldn't have to worry about that. 

But there was one problem...

My matriarch mother (who is temporarily living with me) does not like dogs - at all. When I called to tell her what I purchased, she laid the biggest guilt trip ever. Saying, "I guess this is how you want to get rid of me!" and "If you wanted me to leave, you should've just said so!" 

After I hung up, I turned around in the car to the sweetest little thing ever -- or the bigger problem. The dog was already in the car with me and we were on our way home...at 9 pm. Infuriated, I called my mother back and asked if I could use her car for a road trip to my brother's in GA. I was stunned when she agreed to me driving her car for 10 hours through the night! (WOW) In hindsight, I realized that she was most likely influenced by another's disdain toward house pets...

moving on...

I drove through the night to my brother's safe and sound. I got there with pup, food, and pet supplies in tow. THEN. I. CRASHED. I hardly had enough time to enjoy visiting with my nieces and nephew, but I did enjoy seeing them for the couple of hours that I was awake. 

It was a lonely ride back home. I left my brother, his kids and my our their puppy - Duke. I know he's in good hands though.

Click here to see how Duke is growing!

I'll Do It...Don't Come Any Closer!

After conditioning my hair, it appears that some protective styling may be best for me now. I can tell my hair is growing, but I've been doing a lot with it and it's in need of a break. I've been polling my friends and associates to see what their thoughts on braiding my hair were. Some encouraged the idea, supporting it with the season, my increased level of activity and practicality. Others shrieked at the notion. "It's not very professional!" Huh? Did they forget that I had locs and held down a thriving professional career for over seven years? There are ways to style the hair so that it is still clean and presentable...duh. Another mentioned that braids were out of style...So you mean to tell me that one of the oldest styles in our civilization is now outdated?

Get outta here...

S-T-R-E-T-C-H...The Plot Thickens!!

OohWee! I don't know how much longer I can stretch my next relaxer. My last texlax application was June 1st, and I think my hair is starting to get used to my most recent regimen - a good problem, I guess. It's really starting to grow in thicker than usual. I'm trying to push my next texlax application to August 30th (which would be 90 days)...but I don't know. I am scheduled for a deep conditioning tonight. I'll be using Shu Uemura's Muroto Volume, which works to add volume to the hair.

Giving Back: I Am B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

I had the awesome pleasure of being a special guest presenter for an I Am B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. (Brave, Energetic, Assertive, Unique, Tenacious, Important, Fabulous, Unequaled, and Loved) event! Along with hanging out with the girls, we got a chance to discuss skin care, self care, makeup, hair and more girls' stuff! Afterwards, we watched the Princess and the Frog and enjoyed popcorn and snacks. Unfortunately, I had to go home :-(...but I'm sure the "girls night in" (slumber party) continued. They were great, and I hope to work with them again!

Check this organization out - what they're doing for girls (and women) is great!

Gift from the girls - thanks ladies!

Lovely Lyrics

Feels just like a weight has lifted, how can I help repay you? Help me understand currency, a fist full of tears I can afford.
...
I go insane-crazy sometimes trying to keep you from loosing your mind.
...
We gon fight the war, we gon fight our fears. The only thing I wanna throw is a fist full of tears.

There are more out there, but today this song is really getting me. I'm trying to resist what I call the "crazy rock." You've seen in portrayed in movies. You know. When someone is being contemplative about something and all they can do is rock in solidarity-in their thoughts. That's where I am right now. So thank you Maxwell and the man who wrote this song with him.

Words are some of the closest things to perfection when used the right way!

Hair-ducation: Hair Growth Support

On my quest to learn more about growing healthy hair, I've stumbled upon a universe of information. I will attempt to share the information specific to growing and maintaining healthy hair between visits/consultations with your professional hair care provider. I should provide some overview first.

The Hair Growth Cycle
Each hair on our heads has its own cycle. The cycle mainly has three phases: Growth-Transition, Rest/Sleep and Re-growth/Shed. The cycle can last anywhere from two to six years. Obviously, each hair starts growing at different times; otherwise, we would all loose a head-full of hair simultaneously (thank goodness that's not the case).

What to Do?!

Poised at a cross roads with my hair, and not sure what to do with it...I'm referring to protective styling. Protective styles are especially ideal for summer months. It will also be a great option for me since I've taken on a Healthy Hair-growth Challenge. This way I can continue my regimen without having to trouble with my hair for a long period of time. I would go with a weave, but that would be too hot. I am leaning towards a braided style. Yeah, maybe that's what I'll do...

The Eyes Have It: Eye Shapes, Placement and Dimension

This entry features similar charts to what may be used in formal instruction; no harm in sharing this information with you though, right? First things first: take a look at the charts and discover your type.

Eye Shapes

Average/Standard - For those of us who already have average/standard (sometimes referred to as "almond") shaped eyes, you have the most freedom when going for the basic application. Stick with the 3-dimension makeup application for the eyes (i.e., shade, crease color, highlight), or go crazy with color!

For the rest of us, the goal is to give the perception that we have an almond (sometimes referred to as "standard") eye shape. Yes, "perception."

UPDATE: Black Castor Oil

One of my earlier entries highlighted a product that promotes healthy hair growth. Days after my post, my sisters of blogdom from the UK (Long Hair Journal) gave the product a review and offered some alternate ingredients that are effective and not expensive. So, for those of you, who are starting on your own hair growth journeys, may find this helpful - I did. I'm still working on my own version. We'll see how things go in a month or so.

Until then...

The Eyes Have It!

Whether you believe that they are the mirror to the soul, or subcribe to accessorizing them with the hottest diva shades; we can't deny that when it comes to makeup: the eyes have it! Let me first say that there are NO RULES with makeup (well, besides making sure your foundation is the correct match and other fundamental guides)! Yep, I said it - and I know someone will remind me of that later on. 'No rules' allows for your creative liberties to be fully expressed. Besides, who am I to hinder your creative freedom?! No, seriously, there are best practices and guidelines that I think are helpful when attempting to achieve a certain look. The eyes only take up a fraction of our face, but require a considerable amount of thought and preparation for certain looks (i.e., smokey eye, everyday, evening, etc.).

Color basics
To shorten the explanation (or an entire chapter of some text books), darker shades deepen the visual perspective, as these shades absorb light. This is why we apply darker shades under the cheekbone (in the hollow of the jaw)

What Qualifies You?

Yeah...somebody did ask me that after I shopped for and dressed her sister. I suppose her sister's satisfaction wasn't enough of an explanation. If I were as presumptuous as she seemed, I'd probably tell her to ask my clients, instead I told her the following story.

The story about how I knew I loved to prepare "looks" for other people...

Well, first let me say that it's fun to me. I also believe that I have a knack for most things aesthetic. During my sophomore year in college, my cousin and I went shopping for "night-on-the-town" outfits - known then (to us) as "club gear." After perusing the halls of a popular the retail outlet mall, we came across one of my favorite stores for the hip and fashion-forward twenty-something woman. I pulled a couple of separates together and asked my cousin to get a fitting room so she could try them on. Knowing what I was up to, she was hesitant - almost refused my prodding, but eventually gave in. She stepped out of the dressing room to model the outfits pulled together for her...

"Tex"laxing Hair?

I am getting such an education about haircare techniques women are using to protect their hair from long-term damage. If you're familiar with hair relaxers, then you've probably already guessed what texlaxing is. Relaxing your hair, but not long enough for it to "take" or be bone straight. I was leery about the concept, initially, but I've been trying it and I think I prefer it. My hair doesn't look as thin as it used to and it still has the flow and bounce that I like after washing and conditioning it. The only draw-back is
what the "tex" of my texlaxed hair does in the hot humid weather...

Black Castor Oil...

This is in response to the requests for additional information about the hair oil referenced. I got the ingredients and instructions from YouTube videos. The instructions come in a Part 1 and Part 2 (watch your speaker volume). However, I should mention that I added my own twist to what is directed, and I am still waiting to see how my version works.

Basic Ingredients:

My Personal Hair Growth Challenge...

For most of my life, I have had the hardest time growing my hair out. I would try protective hairstyles (e.g., braids, weaves, etc.), but [maybe] weeks after I removed the style and paid for my hair to get some TLC (i.e., deep conditioned, trimmed), it would either stop growing or start breaking. My stylist (at the time) would wonder with me as to what the issue could be. We both resolved that that's just how my hair was. But, not so...

Hair-ducation: a Recent Science?

Not really, and the holistic education of hair is still evolving beyond the basics. Let me first recognize the knowledge of our professional cosmetologists - they bring a much needed degree of attention to our hair. However, when it comes to knowing and being educated about one's own hair, there's a significant gap.

For example...

I was recently on the phone with a friend and we began discussing hair. She started telling me that her hair was 4c and she was looking for 3c (clearly, I've been under some rock)...

It's All About Gratitude!

To all of the high school classmates and neighborhood friends who trusted me to master the art of weaving, braiding and natural hair care, using them as my personal guinea pigs; I say thank you.

And to all of my friends, associates, and innocent stranger-made-friends who would listen to my (solicited and unsolicited) critiques and reviews on what would work best for the event and with one's personal style - I owe you all many thanks!

In the winter of 2003 - during a graduate school winter break, I would make another investment in myself by becoming a makeup artistry student. Everyday I had class, I would leave and beg my friends and family to let me "do their face," snap a photo and keep it in my portfolio.

To all of my professional services mentors and friends who pushed me to push myself...there really are no words...I'll just say THANK YOU!

I never thought the love and support shown over the years would still be what keeps me going, but it does. Just when I consider transitioning on to something "new," I get a phone call, email, or text asking if my calendar is open for another event...what can I say other than: thank you!

Each and every one of you is so brave (not only to trust me, but to trust in what I researched, tested, and learned); to trust in making mistakes, falling and getting back up to try it again - but better the next time. These are merely words. I wish I could open my heart, pour my tears and leave them on this screen to truly express what I'm feeling. YOU ARE THE BEST - and you know who you are!!

We've done it! Many of you have encouraged me to get a Web-presence...As some of you know, I've been hesitant because I wanted to get everything just right. Well, now realizing that perfection can't be obtained on the first attempt, I'm starting with this blog. Who knows? It may be all I need! No matter where the skills, talents, and drive take me, I will ALWAYS be grateful to God for you and for what you have poured into my life's experience and what you have allowed me to pour into yours. I love you, and there's really not much you can do about it!

If I Give You Six Inches, Will You Take My Yard?

Last month, members of my [townhome] community's Home Owners' Association (HOA) received a letter informing us that our monthly HOA dues would no longer cover landscaping services to the front of our homes. According to the letter, each owner would now be responsible for maintaining the 3 square feet [or so] of front yard grass, as well as his/her approximately 12 square feet of back yard space (which each owner was already responsible for). Keep in mind, the HOA fees were not being reduced. So, to follow in compliance with what had been agreed to (unbeknownst to me), I set out to get rid of the grass in my front yard altogether. My mission: keep maintenance to an absolute minimum. I went to the local hardware store to purchase weed/grass killer, mulch, edging and other garden tools. Boy, was I being a responsible homeowner, or what? I thought.
I had no idea yard work could be such a great workout (I was exhausted)! My next door neighbor arrived home just as I was hammering the edging around the perimeter of my estimated 3 square foot plot. I can usually get at least a hello out of him, but he had guests; so I figured it may not have been the best time for me to bother him with a "Hey, how's it going?!" He, and his comrades went in continuing their 'car-ride' conversations, while I continued and completed the first half of my project, spraying the weed/grass killer, laying the landscaping fabric, inserting the edging and applying two bags of mulch. My plan was to finish the other half the following weekend.

Throughout the week, I looked at my little piece of yard proudly, thinking: "Maybe it was a good idea for each owner to be responsible for the front yards." Other neighbors began to address the new mandate in his/her own creative way. The diversity was nice. Towards the end of the week, however, I noticed that my two shrubs were beginning to wither and die. I thought I avoided that area when spraying the weed/grass killer. Who knew it would also kill my shrubs?! They should add 'shrub' to the label (weed/grass/shrub/and all living things with roots in the ground killer).

I digress.

Now, I would add 'uproot and replant shrubs' to my yard work assignment for the following weekend. I went back to the hardware store to purchase shrubs, soil, annual florals, mulch and additional metal stakes, as the edging wasn't hammered into the ground deep enough. I mistakenly left some of the purchased items in the cart (along with my umbrella) at the store, having to return the next morning to recover them...ugh. Side note: it really bothers me when retail staff give you that 'side-eye' look of suspicion. "C'mon lady, would I really want to steal a $2.00 rubber mallet and a $3.00 4-pack of metal stakes? Give me a break!" I even surrendered the original receipt!

But anyway...

I got back home just in time to begin the second half of my yard work assignment. I began watering the area to soften the soil. Just as I was preparing to uproot the shrubs, my neighbor appears. He and I say our hellos. I was beginning to grab my shovel, when he said, "Just to let you know, you went over the line about six inches. You killed the grass on my piece of property, and I just got it to start growing."

Wow...

I walked over to the 'line' to get a better idea of what he was referring to. "Oh, this piece right here? I'm sorry. Let me pull this edging up." I relented, pulling the metal stakes and edging out of the ground, moving the mulch and landscaping fabric over, I asked him, "Does this look about right?" He responded that it did. I bit my tongue and thought, "This guy's whining over six inches of grass? Okay..."

I acknowledge that I was a little annoyed at his petty request. I suppose most understand that six inches does indeed make a difference. But for Pete's sake, this is a segment of grass that I'd be willing to take care of! I thought, "Well, it is his property. I shouldn't be turned off by his pettiness." But I was. The frustration gave me the added energy I needed to re-pound the edging back into my inexact 3 square foot plot (minus 6 inches). Since I had soil, I laid more down to his new identified area and inserted the metal stakes to secure the edging. While I was doing this, he and his guest left for a walk and he was able to get another glance at what I was doing. I asked, "Is it OK that I laid some soil down on your six inches?" He replied that it was fine and added "I'll just have to lay some grass seed down." However, I insisted that I clean up my mess. So, I let him know, "Oh no - totally my mistake. I'll reseed for ya..." After digging a small area and planting my annual flowers, I got back in my car to get some grass seed. I returned home, deepened the edging, up rooted and replanted my shrubs, and applied more mulch.

I thought I did a pretty good job and began to put the finishing touches on my project. Meanwhile, the two walkers returned. "Now would be a good time for him to give his approval/rejection of where his 'property line' was" I thought. But since he waited a week, who knows? He re-exited his garage, now walking his dog. I wondered: "Why didn't he say something when I began this project last week?! He saw me sweating and struggling with this shovel! This guy has no clue of the cost and energy that went into this 3 & 2.5 x 3 foot area. All I know is, he better maintain this six inches!" I loosened the soil to the six inch property line and sprinkled the grass seed, as promised. I then watered the whole ballpark 3 square foot area thinking, "We should swap. I SO wish he could take care of my little area - I'll take care of his -- six inches."
HOA Conspiracy? I don't know. Is this new association rule an attempt for the HOA to increase Homeowner participation in those inconveniently scheduled meetings? I better be careful. If this guy's going to point these types of issues out, who knows what's next. One thing's for sure, folks are talking to each other more than ever...

Everyday Isn't Mother's Day?

...well there certainly is more than one Mother's Day during the year in my world. And I don’t mind that - not one bit! My mother and I have grown closer through the years. I suppose she's had fun observing where I was in life's development cycle (terrible twos, puberty, rebellious teens, etc.) from her perspective, anyway. Looking back, I notice that she would pay little to no attention to the foolish actions of my youth, but would somehow still manage to creatively enforce her rule for repeat offenses, and mastered making milestone achievement celebrations brief yet significant. I have grown to value these tactics as an adult navigating through life.

In my late teens and early twenties, I really thought I was so mature, "wise beyond my years." At least that's what people used to tell me. I think. Little did I know that - even though I (relatively) had encountered my share of challenges - I still had so much more to experience. I looked back at every new instance thankful that I had my mother; if not with me physically, then it was consciously as a voice of reason, or a reminder of severe consequences for irresponsible behavior. In actuality, she is still with me in the same ways.


May 13, 1990 - Mother's DayYou were newly separated after nearly 20 years of marriage and I was newly separated from the only life I knew and (for the most-part) cherished. I guess we were both sad for our losses and new realities, but we were taking our sadness in stride. The steady rain that fell that day was symbolic – a milieu for our melancholy existence that day, and in so many other ways. We got dressed and ready to take a 45 minute drive to a neighboring county for a visit with your mother ('Grandma' to me) - who was back in the state, living with your sister and her family. We talked about what I was experiencing in school (being teased and picked on by the same group of girls). You empathized and would strategize with me techniques to apply throughout the day of my "elementary school daze" [I had trouble coping with the changes and would daydream relentlessly-according to my teachers]. All of a sudden, I heard you scream. My search to discover what troubled you in such a way, was interrupted by a truck coming towards-and then colliding with our car. The impact of the collision tossed our bodies in the car. It was a total loss.

Well, not totally...

The paramedics shouted through the shattered glass, "Ma'am, DON'T move!" Using the Jaws of Life, they would feverishly work to pry the driver's side door open in efforts to get to you. I still vividly remember you being asked, "Ma'am can you hear me?!" My scared ten-year-old self watched, weeping, hoping that you would respond to them. Eventually, you did respond; but not to them, to God. I listened in wonder, hearing you declare how good God was for sparing you. I was now scared and confused. Apparently, the paramedics also mistook your seemingly inappropriate praise and worship. They repeatedly insisted to one another, "She’s in shock!" When you finally responded to them, you were able to describe the level of pain and where it was on your body. I remember there being a nice couple that approached the passenger's side of the car. They asked if I was O.K. and if I was able to get out of the car. I don't remember talking, just opening the door to seek refuge in the arms of some maternal being. Though I didn't know her, she cradled me in the most familiar way. I watched as your injured body was laid on a stretcher and hoisted into the ambulance. I watched the man driving the truck that hit us, climb out and walk with the police on scene. I pointed him out hollering, "He did this! There he is!" Only to be hushed by the police and walked to the ambulance -- being comforted by the woman and her male companion. I needed to be with you.

There was chaos.

Though the hospital was not nearby, it seemed the ambulance got there in just moments. I was carried out of the ambulance by one of the medics -- holding the Teddy Bear he gave me. I sat in the hospital waiting room and was later joined by our former neighbors and family friends. Between sobs, I recounted all that I could recall to them, trying to describe every detail. They gave me a quarter for the payphone to call your sister ('Aunty' to me)...

You returned home bandaged, bruised, and would later undergo major surgery on your knee, shoulder and face. And we (your son/my brother and I) nursed you toward recovery. We both assumed our roles in coming to your aid the only way we knew and were advised. He would manage things around our new down-sized residence, and I would help bathe and clothe you. We didn't have to feed you, because your jaws were wired shut. You were able to consume fluids, however. So you drank to your heart’s content -- avoiding alcoholic beverages. You grew tired of liquids just in time for the wires to be removed. And as God would have it, your recovery was successful.

We made it, Mommy!

In the years to come, we would continue to make it. As life would toss chaotic circumstances at us, I would watch you enter the Throne Room, offering your personal praise and worship in sacrifice - and we would make it. It was a GRAND lesson. Perhaps the best lesson (of many) you could have ever taught me: to do my best in engaging in praise and worship when all seems well, so that I know to continue when life becomes chaotic. I have personally lived to see this method tested and proved time and time again!

GRANDMothers

My Vow

My Open Letter to President Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President,

I hope you and the First Family enjoyed your Easter. There have been relentless requests made of you lately. Some suggest that you may not be the rightful holder of your position. On behalf of our fellow US citizens, I would like to apologize for the blatant ignorance and disrespect shown to you. Never in my life have I witnessed such behavior from those who claim to be patriotic, lovers of our country and staunch supporters of the values and principles America was built on and stands for. Never have I observed pursuits for disqualifying factors with any other elected official - much less a United States President - to this degree. It frustrates me that you have to endure this, but as many other 'firsts' in our American history, senseless hardships are expected; and thus, the offenses made against you (and your family) are par for the course. I have done my best to avoid injecting the possibility of racially targeted attacks on your character, integrity and citizenship - basic qualities normally assumed of your Office. Unfortunately, those denying racial intent are turning a blind eye to this reality.
It is my hope that those carrying out these calculated attacks are part of a dying breed. It's a shame and I am ashamed of what I've seen by other Americans.

I suppose those who question your existence have pushed you to expose areas of your life that, under normal circumstances, would remain private (or at least not surrendered in this fashion).

So, now the entire world has a copy of your birth certificate:

http://1.usa.gov/fLR7nu (http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2011/04/politics/interactive.obama.birth.certificate/index.html?hpt=C2 see pp. 1-6).

I really wish you did not have to do this, but thank you for obliging. Hopefully, we can keep things moving along. No checkbook could pay for the truth. No one having access to large amounts of money should assume that wealth trumps the political process.

I wonder what will be asked for next. Perhaps demands for DNA samples? I wonder if they realize that no matter how ridiculous their accusations become, you (and those who believe in what your office is trying to accomplish) will not be distracted. I know you are aware of this, but I feel compelled to remind you that there are so many people praying for you; praying that you are not only safe, but secure, confident in your responsibilities, and focused on the tasks ahead. I may not personally agree with every aspect of my President's agenda (past Presidents included), but I respect the office. Now, only if others subscribed to that basic level of respect you deserve.

So Mr. President, I hope these menial requests don't discourage you too much. Please continue to work on our country's unemployment, economy, and education system. I don't want to sound bossy (I've been accused of that), but can you also continue working on phasing out the wars declared by your predecessor? I know that a Commander-in-Chief needs to do this strategically. Oh, one more thing: the gas prices are really becoming outrageous. Whatever you can do to bring fuel costs down (if anything) would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!