HELP! I'm Shrinking!

I've been growing my hair out for some time now, and I have to admit: it can be discouraging sometimes. However, while showing some of my friends how my hair is doing since I've been 'washing and going' I measured my stretched and non-stretched hair. I have 50 - 65% shrinkage at any point on my head. The shrinkage is incredible and OH-SO-REAL! Lol

I just love the versatility that my hair has! I've been incorporating henna treatments to strengthen my strands. I haven't been able to rest my laurels on co-washing, and I don't know if I'll ever get there. I will admit, that I'm glad to re-embrace my natural hair.

In a later blog, I'll share what I was told about NOT having relaxed hair. Stay tuned...

The Shrinkage is So Real! 7/3/14

Tribute

She is the constant thread woven through our life's fabric
Calm, serine, natural, beauty and glowing with the light of Love; she speaks to our lives 
Daily we hear her words of wisdom, gentle prodding to excel in all things we are inspired to do
She's the supreme cheerleader, and she has more than the legs for it
She has the hips for it and the march that orders the path before her 
Ever promising to be the blueprint
She is you
She is me

What is Beauty?

PopArt - Lupita Nyong'o by JoeyHazelLM on deviantART

People magazine recently released their Most Beautiful List of 2014. At the #1 spot was none other than award winning and rising star, Lupita Nyong'o. No one [that I am aware of] is surprised to see yet another accomplishment like this for Nyong'o. As I celebrate with her along with other women (and girls) of color for the achievement, I asked myself (as I do with any such list): "What makes her so beautiful?" and further "What is beauty?"

The easy answer is to Nyong'o's beauty may demand that one simply 'look at her!' Her face is symmetrical, so she's biologically beautiful. Her skin is smooth and even as far as the eye can see, so she is dermatologically (it's a word for the purpose of this blog-lol) beautiful. She's the darling of every red carpet in Hollywood. Her accent isn't so thick that the untrained ear is unable to comprehend what she says. Yet, her accent speaks to just how cultured she is -- how worldly she is. She attended and graduated (with honors) from one of America's best schools - Yale University (a trend we are starting to see more of, but that's for a different blog). The point is, she's not just a pretty face. She's got brains and beauty. Apparently, she has personality too. Still, her ability to show such grace and humility isn't all that makes her beautiful.

What is beauty?

It is her ability to own and master all of those things while still knowing that there is more ground to cover. More to attain; to grow; to achieve. The essence of her says it all. It isn't an innocence or naiveté. It's the opposite. It is an unexpected maturity from someone just over thirty years old.

When my brother's eldest daughter was born, we observed that she visibly favored our/his features and darker complexion. I recognized that image issues may be a potential challenge, and I gladly took it upon myself to esteem her as often as necessary (without going overboard-balance is everything). She was and is beautiful - all of his children are. However, we knew that in this society,  standards of beauty vary from what is considered beautiful in our homes. Being Liberian-American, I personally did not experience the negative effects of colorism until I got to school, as family members and friends were (for the most-part) shades of ebony, chestnut and chocolate. Due to my experiences at home, the effects of childhood taunting (as it related to my complexion) did not seem to phase me to the same degree as other girls and boys a similar complexion. So much work had been done at home and within my family's network. I was esteemed in that area. Yes, I recognized that I was darker, but I was also told that I was pretty, smart, talented, humorous and more.

Lupita is beautiful. There is no doubt about that. However, her beauty comes from so much more than what we see.  I hope little girls (and the little girls within) strive to enhance the internal beauty that all are capable of sharing with the world.

It is so important for all to be represented on mainstream media outlets for this very reason. My niece is all grown up now. She recently told me that Lupita Nyong'o was one of her favorites -- already. It's amazing, and I love it. Her family esteemed her as a little one. Now Lupita and others like her, are reinforcing what we've known all along: that you can be beautiful no matter what the conventional standard dictates.

Watch this endearing exchange between veteran and emerging beauty icons, Alek Wek and Lupita Nyong'o (respectively): 

Be beautiful.

Fortunately, I Tell Myself the Truth

Way too much time has passed between now and my last blog entry on this site...I will try to avoid that happening again. I've allowed the busy-ness of life to consume me-all without taking [the proverbial] 'cyber pen-to-pad' otherwise known as blogging. It's no wonder my shoulder has been aching. I now understand what it is like to "feel the weight of the world on my shoulders." 

Perhaps, what I am feeling is not the weight of life (and the stress that comes along for the ride), but weight of weight-gain.

I recovered my missing phone and had it charge through the night. I woke up early (as usual) this morning and checked my voicemail messages. I know to check for messages from any phone, but for whatever reason, had not done so. I can't recall misplacing my work phone--ever, but my personal phone is frequently lost somewhere in my home, car...really, a variety of locations. (Note to self: Yet another example of how work is taking priority over all else. That must change). I was somewhat excited to check-in; to hear what I may have missed - after having misplaced my phone, and finding it...again.  A few messages were from friends touching base, sending holiday greetings, 'love you / miss you' messages (enjoy those), one was an anti-fraud message from my bank (gotta call them back), and two messages from my dad (one of which stood out to me).

"I was on my computer and saw a photo of you on Facebook. Do you mean to tell me you have gotten that fat?! I mean, look at your arms; your figure! Let's talk. Call me back, I'm tired of leaving voicemails."

Seriously? You can't be as tired of leaving voicemail messages, as I am of being disrespected by those closest to me. To answer the question: Yes. I've gotten fat; picked up a few; gained a little...yall know the rest. I have gotten fat. Over the past few years, I've put on more weight than I care to detail. I pant excessively when climbing steep hills and multiple flights of stairs; I stare at scores of clothes in my closet and drawers and think: 'one day, I'll wear you again-one day.' I get it. I've gotten it for years. The amazing thing, is that after hearing a message of this nature from a loved one, I didn't go off the deep end this time. I didn't burst into tears. I didn't call a lifeline and vent to a listening ear. I didn't set up a starvation plan. No one needed to talk me of of any ledge. No. Not this time. I've done those things thinking that being reminded of the painful truth would be motivation for weight-loss; only to later find myself on the fatter side of yo-yo'ing. I just erased the message, and continued to check the remaining 'love you / miss you' messages from those who love me at any size-and don't feel the need to point out the obvious. 

Fortunately, I tell myself the truth, so it's not difficult for me to acknowledge it. The hard and bitter pill to swallow, is the source. Then again, I must consider the source. After not seeing, hearing, or speaking with me for an extended period of time, that's the message you send? That I've "gotten that fat?" I guess so. I guess there's no shock there. No shock that you didn't notice how happy I looked in the photo, or the happiness that surrounded me in the photo...nope. Though, some small part of me [I suppose the little girl in me] is still in shock that I'd get that type of message from my dad.

This is not to bash my dad. Though he has said worse things to me, I acknowledge that that's just who and how he is. I will always honor him. What I want to share in this blog entry, is that growth is eminent at any age / stage in life. Perhaps a piece of me still hopes that I will see some growth in him. The level of emotional growth I've experienced has been worth the painful truth that I've come to terms with about the relationships I had (and have) with so-called friends and some family members. In reflection, I can recall encountering at least three tested or ended relationships-in just this year alone.  

Truth: I will always be a foodie. I will either gain weight or loose weight-whatever I decide to be, it will be because I have made that decision for myself. I will be happy .I am determined to be happy. 

Now, what's for breakfast?! :-)

What Are You Taking Into 2012

At the end of every year, I make a concerted effort to tidy up my living space so that I go into the new year with a clean home. I don't know if it's a tradition of mine or a superstition. But I do know, that at the end of this year's clean sweep, I have an abundance of hair and beauty products -- GO FIGURE! I may have a problem. I may need some help. But I don't need another product at anytime in 2012. I am taking these products into 2012, but I am also taking a few new habits along for the journey.

What are you taking into the new year? Whatever you decide, please have a safe and happy one!

Cheers!

What EVERY Creative Person Must be Reminded Of...

I was in a Twitter-surfing mood the other day and came across one of my favorite photographers (Jasmine Star's) twitter page. I was introduced to her work by my photographer (Tosha Francis). Side note: there's more favor shown when you appreciate the work of others who love your craft - I've definitely observed that. Anyway, Jasmine's timeline is usually entertaining, and she occasionally posts a tweet that pauses my thinking. The reason why this particular tweet resonated with me is because of what I've been experiencing doing hair and makeup lately. I am not downing my work, but - like most artists - when I review the finished product I want to either do it again or "touch something up." To my chagrin, my client either loves what has been created for him/her, or does not have time for [seemingly] minor modifications. However, it frustrates me... I thought I was alone; that I was going through a rough patch in what I love to do. Well, I may be wrong.

Thanks Jasmine for putting this out there.