Reflections...Short & Sweet!

As I prepare to bring in the 2011 New Year, I can't help looking back at the year 2010. I am so appreciative for the beautiful people in my life. From the childhood friend (that I attended pre-school with) having lunch with me this week; to the college friend (and sorority sister) that crashed at my home for a few days; to the elderly friend that I made while buying items from the drug store. He couldn't help but share how blessed he was to have his wife for 52 years and isn't sure if he can make it without her...I could go on and on about how important my network of friends is to me. I love you all and I am so blessed to have each of you in my life!

(not going to cry)

I can't explain the type of excitement I'm feeling right now, but I like it. I am thankful for the confidence (not arrogance) that God is allowing me to experience, and I will continue to pray for a still and quiet strength into and beyond 2011. I will continue to pray for those around me (near and far).

(crying-happy tears)

We all have so much to be thankful for. As you reflect and anticipate remain thankful, and join me in growing in the following areas:

Patience

Consistency

Giving

Completion

Can you think of more? Add them...

and...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Adventures in the Life - Hiking (Yup...We Do That Too)!

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, and sorority sister, invited me to go hiking with her. Initially, I thought hiking would be something different for me - maybe even fun. After all, I enjoy the outdoors, animals, etcetera. Of course I love the camaraderie and social aspect as well. However, I had no idea how much of a physical workout it would be! And oh, what a workout it was. Henceforth now and forever, Billy Goat Trail A in Great Falls, MD will be known as the 'Plateau Breaker' and I got my plateau broken. In fact, I am still patching it together (along with my sore thighs, arms, back, blistered feet and ankle).

I digress.

The first visit to the trail was more "adventurous" than my subsequent visits.
We (my Soror, a friend of her's and I) completed the trail. I think one of my lungs collapsed - no, seriously - and I left feeling defeated. And to add insult to injury [literally], we got lost getting back to the car. The sun set...I walked part of the way alone (and afraid), saw a dead snake and could hear wildlife in the wild life...I...was...scarred! So (after catching up with my hiking companions) we finally made it to the car - thanks to my Soror for running ahead to get the car!

I'll admit, my first try left me with more than bruised body parts. I had a bruised ego. I went into my first hike as a rookie in true form -- ill-prepared. I wasn't appropriately equipped. I didn't have enough water or food, and I didn't eat enough before getting to the trail. Did I forget to note that it was 90+ degrees that day, and we started the hike after 3 pm (the hottest time of the day)? I spent a good part of the week healing my aching body (with ointment and ibuprofen), spending a lot of time in the sauna and steam room(s) and reminiscing on how athletic I used to be - envisioning that once athletic version of myself emerging during the next hike...what, can't a girl imagine?

Wait, did I just subconsciously commit to doing that again?! Damn! Well, I am a glutton for punishment (on so many levels, but that's another blog).

The next time though, I vowed to arrive to the trail in the morning, have water and snacks, and invite a group to hike with me; and that's exactly what I did. To my pleasant surprise, I completed the trail like an experienced explorer, and was surrounded by an awesome group!

I was so excited to have been able to, not only take advantage of the hike's workout, but to also enjoy the scenery and make new friends --like Georgia, a very friendly and affectionate Lab!

Perhaps, this hike will be a weekly or semi-weekly thing? We can start a group. What do you think of the name: "We Do That Too?" Either way, I'll be back to Billy Goat Trail A, and I may venture to trails B through D...who's with me?!

I Want Comfort Food #imafoodie #dontjudgeme

"I Want Comfort Food #imafoodie #dontjudgeme" This was the recent post for my Twitter followers and Facebook friends...and I meant it. Today was supposed to be an eventful day for me. I was going to attend 8am church service, go hiking with my friends, have brunch, maybe catch a movie and then retire to prepare for an eventful tomorrow. Instead I was awakened (around 9am) by that special noise car tires make when driving by on wet pavement. That's usually how I know and can explain an odd sense of fatigue -- it's raining. Not only will I not be having an eventful Sunday (i.e., hiking, brunch, movie, etc.), I want to stay in my bed.

I want to stay in my bed, surf the net, and yes - EAT!
But I don't crave my standard cuisine (regularly found in any of my favorite restaurants), I desire COMFORT FOOD. Home-cookin': Biscuits. Meat. Fried...something mealy. Smothered with...anything savory. Yes. I know food. I know it very well, and I know what I want. But there's this special pair of Citizen jeans that I am absolutely in love with. I am close to wearing them [publicly] again. So, eating what I want would be, well...counter-productive. Despite what I cravingly (I know it's not a word) desire to eat, I will find comfort in surrendering to the... (slow and awkward mental silence/pause)... the shake. Yep, in addition to regular consumption of vitamin B-12, appetite suppressants and fitness routine (six months long & strong, 43 lbs lighter) I have recently incorporated "it"- because I have hit a plateau, and I am enjoying reaping the benefit of rediscovering a former wardrobe.

I am a foodie - can't lie about that; I always will be. I woke up this morning, caught church (online - gotta get my Jesus in), and had today's comfort food - the shake. What a great comfort it will be when I can comfortably wear those jeans I love!

Fun Family Photo Shoot

While my nieces and nephew were in town visiting, we got a chance to have professional photos taken in DC. It was so much fun, and even more fun to see the individual personalities of these kids. One is a typical teen, the other a fashionista in the making and the next, a free spirit - on wheels. We enjoyed every second of it, thanks to The Captured Life Photography!

How is it???

How is it that every time we start talking on the phone and the conversation goes from you to me, you become busy all of a sudden and have to get off of the phone?
How is it that when I want to do something with you, you find some way to make whatever the event is self-serving for you in some way?
How is it that I only hear from you when you need something from me?
How is it that you accuse me of being fake when you turn around and gossip - knowing that what you say will somehow make it's way to my ears?
How is it that I always seem to fall for the same trick cooked up a different way and not realize it's the same trick until I recognize that I am playing the starring role of "Fool" -- again?
How is it that expectations are different for you than they are for me?
How is it OK for you to tell the same lie to yourself and not recognize that it is still a lie - even if you tell it to yourself?

I guess I am the one who can control many of these circumstances. So, the next time I find myself claiming victim, I'll have to turn the tables. Because I cannot take having to ask anymore. After all, the answer is just before me. You ask "How is it?"

I Can't Believe It...A Perfect Match!

I realize that my excitement cannot be shared by everyone, but - for those who can't relate - try. Yesterday, while on my way to the office, I stop by the local drug store to purchase hosiery; the best quality, of course (e.g. run resistant, reinforced toe, control top, etc.). Long story short, by the time I got home from a pretty normal-pace day at work, my high quality pantyhose were gathered around my ankles and had runs, not in one, but both legs. *Note: I sometimes cut off the ruined leg of hosiery and save the good leg to combine and wear later with another un-ruined leg - don't judge me. I save money that way! Anyway, I went to bed prepared to wake up a little earlier so that I could schedule time to get a new pair...something different for sure! After my A.M. workout, I found myself rushing out of the locker room (dropping my ceramic Starbucks tumbler - that's a separate blog) so that I could make it to my regularly scheduled daily meeting at the office. I headed straight to Target ('Tar-jay' as you may sometimes hear it), I love that they are open early enough, but not so early that you get last night's traffic - if you know what/who I mean.
While searching for that perfect pair of pantyhose, I stumble across a very cute cardigan that would go perfectly with my 'little black [but corporate] dress' (every girl's gotta have one). "This must be a good sign" I thought. I headed to the hosiery department and looked at the usual brand, only to find that they didn't have my shade of 'nude'. Shocker, right? By now, I'm approaching the point of complete frustration, until I go to the other aisle and see a shade of brown that could not be any more perfect. Ladies (or maybe the unusual type of guy that would buy hosiery for a woman in his life-if you exist, call me): I HAVE FOUND THE PERFECT MATCH!!! If you ever want to know what brand to get, may I please suggest Hanes Solutions - Transparent Sheer. This match (Gentle Brown) was so perfect that the girls at work didn't know I was wearing pantyhose. And they are by far, the most comfortable pair I have ever worn (so soft). I had the ladies doing the touch test on my legs. They feel like they won't be running too! But if they do, you'll know by tomorrow - promise...Today's got to be a good day, considering all things...

I Can't Make You Love Me...But I Will Enjoy Trying!

I don't mean to tout, but life has shown me that when certain individuals don't want me around, it's usually because they haven't gotten to know me that well. By no means would I claim that everyone likes me - all of us has one or two (or more) enemies. Perhaps they are just people who tolerate or don't like us. Whatever the case, they will exist. And that's OK. I have been blessed with the personality characteristics/tools to not only build, but successfully maintain positive relationships with others (thank God). Fortunately, those whom I share these relationships with have been blessed with the same (Law of Attraction, I guess?). So, I don't necessarily 'need' more friends/fans/associates, but what can I say - I'm social! Anyway, in situations where I must be in the company of others, I like for shared interactions to be as pleasant as possible. When the desired atmosphere is hindered because of mis-perceptions, unreasonable stereotypes, or disdain; I try to do my best to address things. Such is my plight recently. I was requested to attend and work at an event. I knew that my time there would be spent with some who knew (or at least recognized) me, and others who would be meeting me for the first time. To my surprise, I had a better experience interacting to those who were meeting me for the first time. It seems the people who knew me wanted to not know me during this event. Needless to say, it left me...perplexed. My thought: "...when we're home, we have a great time chatting, and now that I see you here, you look away or pretend not to see me. What's the deal?" 


No problem...


So, I took every opportunity to say hello (at minimum) each time I came across a known face. The shear look of avoidance and embarrassment was entertainment enough! So you want to be interested in the floor now?? Yeah, OK..."HI!" I even gave one old 'friend' (who shares a not-so-good first impression) a big hug...Thinking, "...this can't get any more fun!" I can't make you love me, but observing your reaction to my attempts is so much fun! Thank you!

Me - Drama Free

We are more than siblings. You call me big sister, but really, I look up to you. You keep me grounded and I hold you accountable...sometimes these positions transpose. But through the years you have been invaluable to me. I love you.

I've known you all of my life. You certainly made your mark from mentor, to nemesis, to guardian and protector...you didn't always know the appropriate role to play, but we didn't turn out so bad. I can't wait to see what we grow old to become. No matter how much distance and time lay between us, we resume our relationship as if all was uninterrupted. I love you.

We got off to an awkward start...we looked at each other through the corners of our eyes in discovery...but after we began to see things from the other perspective, we came to understand each other VERY well. I get you and you get me. I enjoy the time we spend even if it is just us laughing and crying together. I love you.

I met you partying with my drink and my two step...you sang and danced right along with me. While I could never keep in step with your dance and you could not ever keep in tune with my melody, we have had a grand time entertaining ourselves (and others, I suppose). Cooler than the other side of the pillow. I can call you friend. I love you.

Catching up with you can be hard to do, but I think we both give it an honest effort. I don't always return your calls, and you consistently remind me of that. You demonstrate erratic behavior on a regular basis, and I bare through the swings as best as I can. I may not always like you, but you know...I love you.

You must be one of the sweetest individuals I know. We adore one another - well, I certainly adore you. My undying affection towards you will only strengthen over time. Looking into your eyes is a constant reminder of what love brings, and watching us grow together is more than inspiring. I love you.

It's difficult for me to include you in this, but I must reconcile my present with past experiences. Though you violated me and the trust I had in you, I learned to grow through the negative effects of what you thought was normal. I have worked to become normal again. I respect the role you play in my life, and I hope you respect my decision to never allow my children to be alone with you. You have not recognized what you have done, and I forgive you. I love you.

You have the uncanny ability to make everyone smile. I don't know how you do that! One day I'll ask if you can teach me. I know you won't be able to respond when I see you again, but I know I'll be smiling as I attentively listen. I love you.

I wish I had more time to make your acquaintance. If the cycle of life offered the same position for the both of us, we would have been sisters (I'm told). I wanted to know you. I wanted to remember you. But, as life would have it, you transitioned into the warmth of God's Love. I think I feel it every time I think of you. I love you.


I was so foolish when I was introduced to you. I should have recognized then that you were brought into my life to fulfill a vacant role. Instead, I rebelled in every way possible. I was only trying to shield and protect my feelings. I blissfully wanted things to be the way they were. I was young. I was stubborn. I did not understand that (thought indirectly - at first) you did love me. Though you may not hear me say it often to you, I love you.

I have always admired your strength and tenacity to address the seemingly impossible with courage. Because of you, I know how to walk with my head held high regardless of my environment or circumstance. You have set the standard for those around you to master the act of accomplishing challenging goals with the same boldness and determination. I hope that I have a little of that in me. When I was a young queen, you used to say that we would always be the best of friends. And you were right. We have definitely experienced personality struggles of our own; either because you were not ready for me to exhibit my strength or I demonstrated it prematurely. We travailed. You always had such foresight. I miss you more than you will ever know. I love you.

Anyone who knows the both of us, can't deny the bond that we share. You are the blueprint. You don't know, but I watched your every move (I still watch your every move). Not to observe mistakes or mishaps, but to ensure I could be just as graceful navigating through life. I cannot imagine what my life would be without you. Our relationship is more than destiny. We are history. Though I've met challenges in life, you never made me feel that I was facing them alone. The life lessons you have imparted will be with me forever. I will always have a piece of you in my heart. I love you.

So Me Not Answering the Phone Isn't a Hint to You?

Just when I thought you got the hint that I was over you; just when I thought you understood me when I said, "No, we can't be friends!"; just when I figured you figured that there really was no point in chatting it up on the phone...YOU CALL ME! My phone rang and rang...you even had the nerve to leave a message as if I owed you a returned call...I don't owe you a call, man. You owe me...if you could reimburse the time I spent with you, I would ask for that back too! But I can't, now can I? No, I have to "rise above" and chuck it up as a lesson learned...Since I know you'll read this (because you seem to find me everywhere), can you do me a favor? Can you just stop, please. Stop calling me and stop asking mutual friends to check on me. I'm fine - really! I just don't want to be reminded of you and what we had every time I see your number on my caller ID. Done. From now on, if I don't answer your phone call, take the hint. I don't want to answer. I don't want to talk to you, and I don't want to be your hommie, hommieloverfriend, or anything close.

How Do I Look?

I am at work putting to good use the principle of discipline, characteristic of focus, deep concentration and having a strong work ethic...just like my mother taught me. My Mommy. She's the apple of my eye and I am the apple of hers. She taught me how to grow up to one day fill her Queendom-sized shoes. I thought I was there. Accomplished, educated, focused on my career at a Fortune 500 firm - I think I'm doing O.K. I'd say I've done what she's advised for most of my life. I'm thankful for her wisdom, and hope I'm a better woman because of her. You can say she's proud of me (at least she says that she is).

So why, after being asked to attend a cousin's wedding, did my mother request to see my outfit before attending?

The diatribe:
Me: "What?! Mom! Are you serious?!"
Mom: "Well, do you have anything formal? The reception is formal."
Me: "Yes Ma, I have a few gowns from the 30 or so weddings I've been in."
Mommy: "Well, I just want to see what you're wearing. Don't I ask you 'How do I look?' when I try on clothes?"
Me: "Seriously, Mommy. You don't ask me every time, and it's not for me to approve what you have on. I can't believe (at my age) you are wanting to approve my attire! Forget it, I don't want to go anymore. Please tell Cousin Mary, thanks but no thanks."
Mommy: "The offer to attend the wedding and reception are still on the table, I'll let Cousin Mary know you'll be coming. I can get the outfit for you, you know. You know how our people talk and like to dress, Queen. Don't you want to look and feel good about yourself?"
Me: "So I don't feel good about myself now? And I am one of those people. I like to dress!"
Mommy: "O.K., fine. I don't know why you don't want me to help you."
Me: "It's not that Ma. I know what to wear. And on the day of the wedding, I'll ask you 'How do I look?' and the both of us will approve."
Mommy: "Oh, so you wanna go now?"
Me: "Yeah Ma, I'll go."
Mommy (chuckling): "O.K., I'll talk to you later. I love yooooouuu."
Me: "O.K., love you too Mommy."

I got off the phone wondering what had just happened? How does she still do that after all these years? I tried to be firm and stand my ground, but turned to creamed honey butter in just a few moments. I guess I'll be living out my years trying to fill those shoes. Size: Queendom. When I finally fit them, I'll ask you: "How do I look?" Please say I look great in them...please?


UPDATE 5/22 (via voice mail message): "Hi Queen, it's Mommy. Just thought I'd pick up a few items and drop them off at your place - the wedding is next week. Let me know what you think after you try them on. Oh, and I turned your alarm on for you...you must remember to turn that thing on! OK, love you. bye!"


I need this skill...its a little more than persistence  - seriously.

I Love My Gym (I Think)

Another beautiful Monday morning began with the usual alarm clock ring/buzz (the one that's so annoying you HAVE to get out of the bed and turn it off - if it's far from you). I get started on my early A.M. commute into the city for my morning workout at the new gym location less than a mile away from my job. Cute. I've been a member for a little while, but this location is brand-spainkin'-new, and I love it - or so I thought. The women's locker room is zen-tastic with greenery and spa-like qualities. Shower stalls are private and spacious and the bathroom stalls are always clean. What's not to love? I've got access to a pool, sauna, and softest and cleanest towels I have felt and seen at a gym. The lockers are digital; so you can enter a four-digit code of your own. Oh wait,"You have to push the 'C' button first ma'am." Another patron said as I frustratingly entered several digits into four or five different locker codes. I guess she was tired of me looking at her from the corner of my eye as she primped in the mirror. She could probably read my mind saying,
"So, you see me struggling with this and you're not going to help, huh?"

Anyway, after trying two or three of my favorite four-digit codes, I was eventually successful. I packed my things away and locked them in locker 65 (because that's an easy number for me to remember), but locker 65 was too close to the aisle that everyone walks by, so I moved my things a few lockers down. I left to get my cardio and stretching in. In all, I had a great workout. Sweated like the pig I used to be and walked through the gym to the locker room, as if I had just finished a half-marathon (I needed for the evidence of my hard work to be more than obvious to everyone else). I began preparing myself to shower and get ready to head into the office. So far, all was going perfectly. I was not running late and I had my 'get ready at the gym' regimen down to a science. So why couldn't I scientifically recall which of my favorite two or three four-digit codes I used? Frantically, I enter each combination (having to wait about a minute between entries).

"Oh no, nothing's working...I can't be late! I have two reports due today (one with a self-imposed deadline, and the other a client deadline)!" I thought to myself.

I ran to the gym's Membership Services counter and asked if someone could assist with unlocking my locker. "Sure." The cute and oh-so-buffed, slicked-back-haired gentleman said behind the counter. "I'll send someone right over."

With all the southern charm I could muster, I batted my eyes, smiled nervously and said, "Thanks, I'm at locker 67." Did I think he was going to meet me at locker 67 for Happy Hour later or something? I flirt at the most inopportune times. I digress.

I went back to my locker and waited for my things to be rescued.
As I waited, the Mental Committee Meeting ensued: "Are you sure you left your bag in this locker, I thought you wanted to move closer to the corner?" She's my cautious committee member.
My anxious member: "No, that one was already taken, right? Right?" She's always second-guessing things.
"Did that woman figure out one of your codes when she was 'helping' you and end up taking or hiding your things? Maybe she changed your code to play a joke?" says my paranoid member.
My guilty/guilt-ing committee member asked "Damn! How could you confuse your most important four-digit combinations, what kind of daughter, granddaughter, sister or aunt are you?"
One more, "Well at least your wallet is in your car - that was smart." She's the sarcastic member.

Finally, a masculine (not muscular, but masculine) woman arrived to assist with the master key.
"Usually, we have to I.D. you for this." She warned.
"My I.D. is in my locker." I quickly replied. I wanted her to hury and open my locker.
"Now's really not the time for me to get all caught-up on your customer service/security protocol, lady. I've got my own job to get to." I thought to myself.
"Uh, noooo." [the sarcastic mental committee member] "Your I.D. is in your wallet, in your car--remember?" I had to ignore her (or ignore myself) because the most important thing to me right now is to get my things so that I can shower and start my day.

Mr. Female opens the locker. IT'S EMPTY!! "What!" I exacerbatedly cried out. Insisting, "I could've sworn..."
"Don't panic and start looking in the plants throughout the zen-tastic, spa-like locker room for your digital combination that should be memorized. Try the corner locker." Taking heed to the caution of my cautionary mental committee member (in this case also my voice of Reason), I took a deep breath, recalled, and entered my favorite four-digit code. The locker buzzed open and there were my things - just as I left them. In the corner locker. "Hee hee...oh look, there they are.." I said and smiled to Mr. Female as s/he rolled her eyes at me. And after forming her mouth as if she was biting down on her inner jaws and puckering her lips simultaneously, she announced, "Well, I guess we don't have to ask for that I.D. since you opened your locker."
"Nope, I guess not." I thought.

And it's in my wallet [in the car] anyway.

Well, Here We Are

The term "Drama Queen” is usually given a negative connotation. That's not really the case here. We are Queens(z) who claim dominion over the drama that presents itself in our lives. We don’t go looking for her [drama], but we refuse to let her control our emotions or consume our lives when she comes looking for us. Practical humor is woven throughout our daily experiences and we could not keep it to ourselves. And since we can't afford a reality television show (which would be so awesome), we will do our best to blog these experiences for our enjoyment and yours. We hope you see the humor (or whatever emotion the drama calls for) – or at least find these entertaining...and for the record, there's a 'z' at the end of 'Queenz' because there were no available email address accounts or domains with the correct spelling. To be honest, one of us really liked the 'z'...you'll make that queen's acquaintance soon...soon enough. Thank you for reading our blog!