See What Bey Got Me?!

During the day:

@iamjamiefoxx @taylorswift @nvidel @j0nnieface IT'S OUR B-DAY, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! On this day, 12/13/13 I celebrate life, health, love and laughter. Thank you God, Thank You God, THANK YOU GOD! This year was full of lessons, and I'm a better woman because of these lessons. I looked down at my phone at 12:13 pm; the song "Grown Woman" was blasting in my ear 0:32 into the song). Last night, I was telling my line sister that I needed this song released so that I could blast it in my car (@kimberlyelle_c is my receipt-I ain't lyin')! Would you believe, @beyonce RELEASED HER ALBUM ON MY BIRTHDAY! Last week, I said I wanted a cake. I HAVE TWO! Some may count these as coincidences, but not I. God is blessing in big ways and small-and I am present and on time for them all! Go Nyeta, it's your birthday! #Team Blessed #1213 #TeamSaggi #GirlsNightAtTheRange #ImAGrownWoman #ThisIsMyLongestPostEver

This was an Instagram post sent to my friends and followers earlier today. Yes, it's my birthday! My age is not as significant as the warm and positive feeling I have today. Two Thousand - Thirteen  has been a bitter-sweet year for me. I fought and surrendered; laughed and cried; reacted and reflected. I've learned so much.

Friends have reached out to me, sending birthday wishes and kind thoughts. I've returned the gestures in kind. I really do believe I have the best friends in the world. They have created for me the strongest network of support and love I have (outside of my family). I explained to one friend that this birthday feels especially different. I'm not sure why. I explained that today feels like a New Year's Eve celebration-like 12/31/13. In reference to the Instagram post above, I declared to another friend that  I called Beyoncé last night and asked when she was releasing something new? He humored me, of course and let me finish my story. After telling him what really happened the night before (noted above), I asked: "See what Bey got me ?! An album just to celebrate how grown I am!" We laughed [for what felt like] 10 minutes.  I closed my story by saying that she sent a text with a simple smiley face. Smh-they let me imagine, and I love them for it! I later had Ladies Night at the range (fun times), and dinner at one of my favorite places to eat.

I thought I understood what some meant when they expressed "coming of age," or "coming into their own." Perhaps that's what I am experiencing-but to a greater degree. I've been an adult for years now, it's just different.

I Wept. Shortest Verse in the Book of [Me]...

I know what many of you, who know me, may be thinking (some have even asked)..."Where have you been, and why have you stopped blogging?!" Well, there's no good excuse for this, but there are many explanations. Life. Misfortune? Depression, maybe? I'll leave the explanations for another blog entry; perhaps a few more blog entries, a good therapist, and a glass bottle of the best red wine I can find (just kidding - not really). This blog entry is an alternative response to a culmination of proverbial bumps in the road.

A few months ago, I hit one of the lower points in my life, where I [somehow] allowed myself to think lesser of who I know I am. After being in that state for a time (too long to be honest), help came along (thank God) and got me on my way. I began to affirm who I am; reminded of and recognized the stuff I was made of; started reengaging my spirituality / faith, stimulating my mind (particularly the creative side of my brain), and increasing an awareness of my physical health. I've experienced enough to know that life is full of ups and downs, and we've got to do our best to pull from the resources we have in reach. Yet, with the recent mishaps, I found myself asking, "What's going on?" and "What am I doing wrong?" -- two actual questions that I sent in a text to a few of my friends. It came on the heels of a text exchange (between two of us) the night before. Knowing the details of things and how both she and I respond to perceived calamity, she sent a message reading: "So, did you cry yet? I tried last night ('cause my heart was racing), but nothing happened. Then I just simply said 'Jesus help me.' and went to sleep." I looked at my phone - wiping my tears, and replied, "I wept. Shortest verse in the book of [me]..." No matter what has happened in my life, I've always searched for ways to humor myself. I suppose since God gave me the healing gift of humor, I use it to heal my own hurt.

We've all seen this before: the "woe is me" / "why me?" inquiry that we portray or verbalize to the Heavens. This is what we do. We are all guilty of this, from birth to adulthood. And when we're through, we get ourselves together and keep pushing until we can push no longer--or at least we hope. There's no crime in asking why. The crime is in giving up on who you are, and who you have the potential to become. With that same spirit, I made moves. Wherever you may be in your journey, remember to use all that God has given you. It's yours for the taking. Then, keep it movin'! As with everything else in my soundtrack-of-a-life, here's one song for this season: Soul II Soul's Keep on Movin'. Listen here if you care to, and enjoy!