Fortunately, I Tell Myself the Truth

Way too much time has passed between now and my last blog entry on this site...I will try to avoid that happening again. I've allowed the busy-ness of life to consume me-all without taking [the proverbial] 'cyber pen-to-pad' otherwise known as blogging. It's no wonder my shoulder has been aching. I now understand what it is like to "feel the weight of the world on my shoulders." 

Perhaps, what I am feeling is not the weight of life (and the stress that comes along for the ride), but weight of weight-gain.

I recovered my missing phone and had it charge through the night. I woke up early (as usual) this morning and checked my voicemail messages. I know to check for messages from any phone, but for whatever reason, had not done so. I can't recall misplacing my work phone--ever, but my personal phone is frequently lost somewhere in my home, car...really, a variety of locations. (Note to self: Yet another example of how work is taking priority over all else. That must change). I was somewhat excited to check-in; to hear what I may have missed - after having misplaced my phone, and finding it...again.  A few messages were from friends touching base, sending holiday greetings, 'love you / miss you' messages (enjoy those), one was an anti-fraud message from my bank (gotta call them back), and two messages from my dad (one of which stood out to me).

"I was on my computer and saw a photo of you on Facebook. Do you mean to tell me you have gotten that fat?! I mean, look at your arms; your figure! Let's talk. Call me back, I'm tired of leaving voicemails."

Seriously? You can't be as tired of leaving voicemail messages, as I am of being disrespected by those closest to me. To answer the question: Yes. I've gotten fat; picked up a few; gained a little...yall know the rest. I have gotten fat. Over the past few years, I've put on more weight than I care to detail. I pant excessively when climbing steep hills and multiple flights of stairs; I stare at scores of clothes in my closet and drawers and think: 'one day, I'll wear you again-one day.' I get it. I've gotten it for years. The amazing thing, is that after hearing a message of this nature from a loved one, I didn't go off the deep end this time. I didn't burst into tears. I didn't call a lifeline and vent to a listening ear. I didn't set up a starvation plan. No one needed to talk me of of any ledge. No. Not this time. I've done those things thinking that being reminded of the painful truth would be motivation for weight-loss; only to later find myself on the fatter side of yo-yo'ing. I just erased the message, and continued to check the remaining 'love you / miss you' messages from those who love me at any size-and don't feel the need to point out the obvious. 

Fortunately, I tell myself the truth, so it's not difficult for me to acknowledge it. The hard and bitter pill to swallow, is the source. Then again, I must consider the source. After not seeing, hearing, or speaking with me for an extended period of time, that's the message you send? That I've "gotten that fat?" I guess so. I guess there's no shock there. No shock that you didn't notice how happy I looked in the photo, or the happiness that surrounded me in the photo...nope. Though, some small part of me [I suppose the little girl in me] is still in shock that I'd get that type of message from my dad.

This is not to bash my dad. Though he has said worse things to me, I acknowledge that that's just who and how he is. I will always honor him. What I want to share in this blog entry, is that growth is eminent at any age / stage in life. Perhaps a piece of me still hopes that I will see some growth in him. The level of emotional growth I've experienced has been worth the painful truth that I've come to terms with about the relationships I had (and have) with so-called friends and some family members. In reflection, I can recall encountering at least three tested or ended relationships-in just this year alone.  

Truth: I will always be a foodie. I will either gain weight or loose weight-whatever I decide to be, it will be because I have made that decision for myself. I will be happy .I am determined to be happy. 

Now, what's for breakfast?! :-)

Famous Last Words...

"...If it needs to be, go ahead and cut it." Famous last words of one woman's effort to grow out her hair. After a solid year and a half; with a few intermittent hair trimmings and long-term maintenance styles, it was time. It was time to let go of the quest to prove to myself that my hair can grow. That has been proven. I was able to achieve shoulder-length hair. My hair growth quest cannot forfeit the need to maintain a healthy head of hair, however. I have not been as diligent about seeing my professional hair-care provider. Frankly, it showed. I could also feel the damage of neglect. My new mission is getting rid of dead weight: physical, emotional and personal. I am recommitting myself to letting go of all things and people that no longer want me to hold on. Release. My hair included. Those ends were dead -- very dead. Denial had set in, and this was yet another area that I've had to come to terms with an ugly and inconvenient reality. The truth is, holding on to what isn't healthy only reaps perpetual damage; eventually extending to the root. It's best to just face the facts, accept the consequential, and cut unneeded ties. Remember to cut at the healthiest point, and even better if you get an edgy/cute outcome/desired finish. You've likely guessed, this entry is more than just about hair. And since I aspire to become the premier go-to for all things image, I have to start with me. I.MUST.BE the brand. I will continue praying, evaluating (and reevaluating) until I am where I believe I should be. So, here we go...

Let the Makeovers BEGIN!!

It's time. Time for us to take a long, hard look at ourselves. Evaluate. Decide now what it is you will change about you. Then, tell me. And I will do whatever I can to help you achieve your goals. NVidel's last post featured a photo shoot with 6RobinsPhotography. I had the pleasure of helping to makeover a group of exciting teens.

Take a look at what the team pulled together!

Fun Photo Shoot with 6 Robins Photography!

I had the pleasure of being onsite with 6 Robins Photography's for the summer photo shoot; via the Mentoring Through Photography Program. Staff included a team of Mary Kay consultants, local fashion designers along with hair and makeup. We were surrounded by nature on the Heaven Scent Farm, and I think the models really enjoyed themselves. The Azure Show joined us on location also.

Stay tuned, more to come!

Holiday Shopping...

...And no, I don't mean shopping for the holidays. I'm referring to shopping during holiday sales. Word of caution: BE CAREFUL!! Here are my top 5 tips for braving retailers during a Labor Day, Memorial Day, Valentine's Day, President's Day, Sunny Day, etc. Sales:

5. Write a list of what items you are looking for.

4. Shop with (and on) purpose.
Decide if you are shopping for a specific event or with someone else in mind. Whatever you decide, stick to the plan!

3. Use the buddy system.
If you have a friend who enjoys the sport as much as you do, ask if they would accompany you. They may be helpful in supporting your mission to stay on target - and it's always fun to have a companion come along for the ride. If you end up trailblazing solo, use your mobile phone hands free device, and have at it! :-)

2. Do the math on your own first.
Some of us may not be math whizzes - and that's ok. This isn't an exam, so pull out that calculator. Have an idea of what your savings will be before your turn in the checkout line. There's nothing worse that disappointing sticker-shock...but nothing better than discovering that you are saving more than what was marked on your potentially new item. If you like those types of surprises and want to rely on a retail associate and cashier, you can disregard this.

1. Start at the sales racks and work your way out.
This is an oldie but goodie, and has not failed me yet. We usually find the sale items in the back of the store. That is by design. Instead of falling for that strategy, head to the rear where the larger discounts are located. After factoring in the compound "total store discount" of 30-75% (on some items), you'll be more pleased than you thought!

No matter what you do for this holiday - Memorial Day - please take a moment to remember those whom have paid the ultimate sacrifice to ensure that we are able to live freely as bloggers, readers, and citizens.

n.videl

Cheers to Hair Growth!

May 19th made my journey one year long!! I'm mostly proud that I was able to stick with something for so long! Take a look at the video...it's not perfect, but it is my first YouTube and it shows my growth after one year and after finding the ideal regimen for me.

To all my fellow journey-ers: RAISE YOUR SERUMS...Here's to you, your journey and your growth progress...

Cheers to hair growth!

n.videl

And I'm Back to My Regularly Scheduled...Regimen

I've been taking a little break from the site, but not from the journey. I needed the time to refocus a few things in my life, and I appreciate those whom have been supportive of me during this time. Now I'm back, better than before-I hope! I am a strong proponent for taking advantage professional service providers' (that you trust) skills, and I hope you'd agree that they are professionals for a reason. I have certainly been leaning on the professional skills of my stylist recently. But now (per his advice), it's back to my protective routine.

I've installed a Curly Virgin Indian (hand-wefted) hair weave and have continued use of my nightly hair topical treatment. Two of my friends and my mother are now using the mix regularly, and all are finding great results. Because my hair is chemically treated and worn straight (when not in a protective style), my version of the topical is more lucid. The opposite is true for my mother and friends testing it, since they all have natural hair styles. Same ingredients, different ratios. So, just to keep everyone posted, my hair growth progress is well underway and moving along. I'll get my testers to weigh in on their progress!